I am here. I would heartily appreciate some internet love.

If you're name's on there, send me a link and I'll send the love right back!

One in Four have started putting some of their content online! This is doubleplusgood news. I'm particularly glad that one of the first articles to go up is this interview I did in October with Andrew Roberts, who was one of the founders of the Mental Patients Union.

He's an absolutely fascinating guy - I went to visit him at his house, and he's one of those older people who never throws anything away or dusts; the place was full of bus tickets and old doodles pinned to the walls, most of them belonging to his late wife, whose paintings were everywhere. The place smelled sweetly of rotting cactuses and weak tea. We had a good old chat; he certainly changed a lot of the way I think about mental health and grassroots organising. I'm interested to see what you guys think of the article!

This week I have been bopping the black dog with a rolled-up newspaper by being taken, respectively in and out for dinner with the lovely khalinche and the ravishinglaumiere . Thank you, ladies - I had a marvellous time.

Off out for more food tonight with a range of activists and squatters I've never met, in an incongruously swanky restaurant that I can't afford, and therefore am being moderately paid to eat at. Hurrah for patronage :)

In other news, I'm coming to wish that I'd put half this much work into doing my degree. I might have got the first I failed to pretend I didn't want. Mind you, if I had, I probably wouldn't have had the kick in the arse I needed to start working like this, so hey ho.

The article is here, for those who were interested!

My GOD I'm broody. I keep looking at babies on the tube and going all spoogly inside. I would like a little baby all of my own. Have to keep reminding myself that the things are *proto-teenagers*.

I'm not sure if getting some sort of pet would help. At this point I'm willing to try anything.

So, I'm looking to talk to people about what they think about the benefits of mental health diagnosis. I'm writing a feature about the usefulness of mental health categorisation. FWIW, One In Four doesn't have a position on this, we just use the term 'mental health difficulty' rather than 'a person with a diagnosis of X' because we believe the difficulty and the challenges people face are more important than the diagnosis.

Particularly interested to hear from people with borderline or bipolar, people who have had several diagnoses in the past, or people waiting for a diagnosis. Did getting your diagnosis help you? Have you ever felt unfairly labelled, or like doctors are treating you differently because of your diagnosis? Was it what you expected? Do you think your diagnosis is correct?

Me, I'm desperate for a diagnosis, because I feel like that'd help me handle my condition better. The last official diagnosis I had was anorexia nervosa, and that's clearly not what the problem is anymore: I'm recovered from anorexia, but it's still on my files as the problem, and I feel like when I'm talking to GPs that holds me back. I don't want to talk about what my problems were then, I want to talk about how to recover from what my problems are now!

I'd be interested in hearing you guys' experiences, and especially if anyone - with or without a mental health difficulty - has links to research on whether or not diagnoses work. NB if I'm going to quote anything, I'll ask for permission first!

L.xxx

In response to several horrific posts by other cis feminists around TDoR I've published the article that's waiting for publication at The F Word to Penny Red. I worked very hard on this, as did many of you guys; I hope you approve of the result.

Thank you, everyone, for your comments on the last post. I'm feeling a lot better now. I think you're right - I actually should be proud of making them that angry. And a lot of great people came to my defence or offered messages of solidarity, which is unutterably heartening.

I am stuck in Sussex this morning, after going down last night to watch my wee sister in Grease, a show that contained a howling pack of the most oversexed, pelvis-thrusting, joyously overacting young teenage boys I've ever seen. Slightly marred by this morning's fiasco of le family forgetting I was in the house and needed to be dropped at the train station, hence missing work today and having to work an extra day next week. FAIL.

In better news, I should have a testimony-plus-additional-reporting-credit-piece in the Graun tomorrow, over FUCKING KATE MOSS SPOUTING FUCKING EATING DISORDER PROPAGANDA. Argh. I don't really want to write more on this topic, but I've now had a couple of dry political pieces in the paper too, and frankly I really, really, really need the money.

God, it's been a busy, confusing week. Who's reclaiming the night tomorrow?

Okay, they've gotten to me now with this second post. I'm crying uncontrollably and unable to do my work. Well fucking done me.

I'm totally ashamed of myself. If I'm going to get more and more of this hate I may as well just not bother trying to write any more. The world is just too full of scumbags and misogynists, and there's no fucking point.

No fucking point at all.